Quick hits: I can't wait to see you again. And we will both be dancing

From D.W.: I don’t get out much these days, but I got to spend the weekend with two of my oldest and dearest friends. Because of proximity and the normal obligations of adulthood, it’s rare that the three of us all have the opportunity to all be in one place at the same time. But I covet those moments. It’s a balm and a reminder that no matter how long the road stretches and how dark the passage grows, there is always a way home where the lights still glow in the windows.

Rachel treasured her friendships more than nearly anything. I’ve never known anyone that put as much actual effort into maintaining friendships as she did. But it never seemed like an effort for her. If you had the privilege of finding yourself within her orbit, you could take comfort in knowing that the kindness of her gravitational pull would never let you drift into the void.

Here are a few little passages she wrote about her friends. I’ve redacted the names to protect the guilty.

Facebook. January 20th. 2019

You know that friend who comes along when you’re in your most awkward phase of life? The one who lifts you up and hangs out with you even when you talk too much and have hopeless hair and no idea how to act like you’ve been someplace before? The one who says to all the upperclassmen you are kind of afraid of and awed by, “I invited her. She’s cool. Be nice.” This girl is that to me. And so much more. Love you, gal—ever so much. Thanks for lunch, hot stuff!

Facebook. October 25th. 2016

9 years on FB, but closer to...mmm...37.5 in real life. It is impossible to overstate the depth of my feeling for my most-bestest friend in the wide world. Love you, fart face. So much.

Facebook. July 22nd. 2018

An Unscientific Research Question:

Imagine that if you assemble all seven of IKEA’s most difficult items in one 24-hour period, you can be exempt from paying any taxes, washing dishes, or buying clothes for the next five years...like a crazy game show/prize package that is not based in reality at all. You can have up to three helpers, living or dead, and at least one of them has to be a famous person. Who would be on your team?

*You have to traverse the whole freaking way through IKEA, write down all the item numbers, avoid the secret passageways, and try real hard not to shove anyone who just stops in the flow of foot traffic for no good reason. Everyone goes home with their own warm tray of cinnamon rolls at the end of the game. Points for creative swearing will be added. Points will be deducted for not swearing at all. You also have to keep and display (regardless of outcome) all the pieces.

Aaaaaaaand go...

Facebook. November 30th. 2023

My heart is so full. My brain is absolute goo. Some wonderful friend on my Sunday flights must have shared something special with me, because I am pretty sure I have a fever. And every bit of it was holy. So much laughter, so much wisdom, more love than you could ask or imagine, and the hearts of wonder at the center just sitting with Jesus and each other was the most vital medicine to my heart. I am the luckiest girl. S.S. and J.G. and M.W.M, the three of you…my word. I would go anywhere and do anything with you babes. Thank you for loving me and leading me, for growing me up, and for always pointing me back to the tender heart of Jesus.

I am so happy and punchy and a little bit feverish, but my heart is full of hope and growing things. I am so excited to get home and see my sweetie and get cracking on something beautiful for Jesus and his littlest friends.

Facebook. March 29th. 2022

The world is weird, my darlings. So many people I know and love are in the midst of hard things, and I wish I could pull out a wand and make things better. Not a wand in sight, but I’ve got a crazy heart full of love and solidarity. It will not always be this way—we are not doomed to languish in our betweenness of the rocks and hard places. Better days are coming, I know and believe that in my bones. And while I cannot hold all the broken bits, I can hold my beloveds while they hold the pieces.

Love is coming, Love is here.

November 2nd. 2021

I appropriated this shirt from K.B. about a million years ago…probably after jumping into the Cheeseparents’ pool one night, but who can say with any real certainty?

I love this shirt and I love my sweet friend K. One day, my teenage self was saying some awful things about me. Kerry looked me dead in the eye and said, “Don’t talk about my friend like that.” I remember her words and love for me so often on days when my inner monologue is not great and get back to the work of being kind to myself and the world.

Tell me a story about a piece of clothing you stole from someone you love.

Love you, Cheese. Always.

Long Valley Lane. February 1st. 2008

portrait of a lady

she told me a lot of stories. about losing her youngest son, about getting sober, about how much she loved her husband. she told me about her grandchildren and her great-grandchildren, about trying to raise four kids on one income, about her husband's heart attack. she told me about how good God had been to her and how much she loved me bringing her communion. she told me how pretty i was, how blue my eyes were, and how she would dance at my wedding.

we had some inside jokes. we always laughed a lot. she kissed me on the cheek when i would leave, and i would spend most of the visit holding her hand. she had the same birthday as my nephew and always asked about him when i would go for a visit. she was a complicated woman, but always the consummate lady. always gracious, always complementary, always focused. i felt like i'd known her my whole life and i only knew her for about a year and a half. her children said she'd kept every card i'd ever mailed to her.

when my office manager came into my office monday morning to tell me she had died, my outlook had just reminded me that i had an appointment with her at 3pm. i got up, shut my door, and put my head down on my desk and cried like a little kid. it's not that i was sad for her. i was sad for me--she had become my friend, and i had come to look forward to our visits. in this business, i try not to have favorites...but she was my favorite. and today, we will honor her life. and i will smile and be glad that i knew her. and tonight, i will go home, crack open some champagne, celebrate another week, another life i got to share, and be grateful.

welcome home, sweet jomeree! i can't wait to see you again. and we will both be dancing.

mil besos,

rmg