There will be a reckoning, in this world or the next

Content warning: Discussion of sexual assault

From D.W.: Greek life wasn’t much of a thing where I went to college. Maybe things have changed in the intervening years, but in the 90’s at least, there were only a small handful of them and most people didn’t even know where they were located. I don’t think that I knew a single person in my entire time there who was in a fraternal organization. They were rarely talked about, and when they were, it was more often with mockery than anything else. I was completely cool with this arrangement.

That’s not meant to be an indictment of campus Greek organizations generally. I have no doubt that there are wonderful, charitable, and valuable fraternities and sororities on campuses across the country. If you were a member and your experience was positive and beneficial, and your memories are precious, the lessons learned invaluable, then namaste. I’m sure that not every fraternity is like Chi Phi at Cornell University.

But some of them are. Too many of them are.

But again, this is not an indictment of fraternities, not even of Chi Phi at Cornell University, because that would be far, far too narrow an incrimination. The alleged actions taken by seven young men upon the body of one young woman at a college two years ago were monstrous, no doubt. And the aftermath of those actions, including the reaction of the “Adults In Charge” were equally monstrous. But this is America, dammit. And if there’s one thing we know about America Dammit, it’s that all things, at all times, at any cost, must always operate to protect the livelihood, reputation, and comfort, no matter how fragile or unearned, of (mostly) privileged, (mostly) white men. Your participation in this society is contingent upon that understanding.

Because of this understanding, the happiness, opportunity, well-being, and even bodies of women are elementally negotiable and at-risk to the point where choosing the bear is not only reasonable, but wise. At least the other bears won’t claim you were asking to be mauled.

Rachel talked a lot about the treatment of women in this country and the violence they are threatened with and too often endure, but she didn’t write about it much. I am speculating a bit here, but I believe that’s because she was afraid to. Famously brazen and frank, Rachel didn’t shy away from many topics in her writing, but she knew that calling out this abuse in public left her vulnerable to danger. Powerful men don’t take kindly to mouthy women. So, instead, she wrote about women’s solidarity, the patriarchy, and the opportunity costs of being a woman in this world. I think, though, that message comes through.

Facebook. November 5th. 2019

As we make the turn into colder weather, I'd like to take this moment to remind you all about taking proper care of your skin.

Nothing keeps your countenance and skin looking their best quite like bathing in the tears of mediocre men and dancing in the flames of the patriarchy.

Facebook. October 18th. 2018

Two of my most favorite club activities include:

1. dancing in the flames of the patriarchy.
2. bathing in the tears of mediocre men.

Today's rage has been brought to you by the letters D, J, and T, and the number 45.
Please take Advil for any headaches, and Midol for any cramps. And for the love of Pete, drink some water.

Facebook. December 30th. 2019

Friends with teenager types and college humans in your care who are getting all heated up for their NYE plans:

Today is a great day to talk to them about consent—THEIRS AND THAT OF OTHERS. And how to be a decent and responsible human when someone has had too much to drink, etc. Don’t threaten, just tell them the truth. Call or text or take them to coffee when they wake up today.

Just please, have this convo with them, even if it’s hard and makes you feel weird. If you need some back up, DM me and we can chat over talking points, etc. I love you. I love your kids.

—Rachie

Facebook. September 27th. 2018

Sister,

I am here to listen or hold your hand or go with you or let you cry or help you pack or cook you food or wash your hair or give you the deposit money or dial and hold the phone while you make the call. I will sit in front of the door so you can sleep or take your kids to the park or drive you to the appointment or hold you while you scream, no matter how long it’s been, no matter who did it, no matter if you had a beer or walked down the wrong side of the street or had the audacity to wear cute shoes. I will be here. For you, with you, and on your side. I am here. For all of it.

And one day, even if it takes all the rest of our days, there will be a reckoning, in this world or the next. All accounts will be settled. I promise you that, my love. I promise you that.

I love you so much.

I believe you.

Love,

Rachie

Facebook. September 26th. 2018

Today I built a liturgical calendar. Every time I do this, I remember that not too long ago, I would have been prohibited from doing this work...or imprisoned for doing it...publicly shamed...exiled...beaten...killed. We all fight the powers of the world and sing the song of God in our own way. This is mine.

Facebook. May 31st. 2019

Today is the Feast of the Visitation, remembering when Mary went to visit her cousin Elizabeth. Elizabeth was probably older than Mary's own mother. Her husband was a priest in the temple, and she was surely the talk of the town after she became pregnant so late in life...and her husband went mute. Mary must have felt so comforted to know she wasn't the only weirdo in her family...and what an act of hospitality on Elizabeth's part. The whole town was already wagging their tongues about her anyway, what were a few more rumors about an unwed teenage mother staying in her home?

I imagine Elizabeth and Mary comparing notes--one fresh and young and bright-eyed, and the other full of wisdom and years. I can hear them murmuring over their spindles, walking to the well, readying the house for Sabbath...two women in the full flower of their lives, one bud just fully opening and the other beginning to just fray a bit around the edges. I am thinking about all my sisters today and all the places we meet each other in this life--all the holy intersections that draw us to each other and closer to the heart of the Holy.

We've had some particularly hard days lately--but we are not strangers to them. We are still 100% on making it through crappy days, crappy administrations, crappy cultural habits, etc. We are still here--and even the ones who have gone before us live on in the wrinkles around our eyes, the laughter creases on our faces, in the silver marks of growth and abundance that wend their ways across our bodies.

Call your sisters, and sister-friends, call the friend who is not near you in age. Open the beverage of your choice and celebrate. We are here together, and that is very good.

Thank you for being here, my darling sisters and friends. I love you so much and I am so proud of you all. I am because you are.