Thank you for letting me be here.
From D.W.: I've never had much use for birthdays. At least since I crossed the little kid threshold. Rachel, though, LOVED birthdays. She loved her own birthday and she loved celebrating everyone else's. She didn't care that I didn't care about my birthday and always made sure to celebrate it just one slight step beyond what she knew I could tolerate. I was constantly amazed at how she could remember everyone's special day, seemingly without a written record, and she'd make a point of reaching out in just the right way. As one close friend told me:
"She still gave me a good, old fashioned phone call every single year. When I was 24 she called and left me a voicemail where she sang Blackbird to me, and afterward she told me I was too special for the generic Happy Birthday song and that Blackbird was mine now. So, her singing Blackbird to me became her birthday tradition for me each year, and it meat a shitload to me and still does."
Today would have been Rachel's 47th birthday, and in that spirit I think it might be fun to share some of the messages she sent to her friends and family throughout the years (and a couple she wrote for herself). Thank you to everyone who sent me these messages. I'm immensely grateful.
Editor's note: One principle I'm maintaining in this blog is that I won't re-print someone's name unless I've gotten permission. Many people have given me permission to use their names with these birthday messages, but because of timing, I haven't been able to secure permission from everyone. And, even though those are all in public forums, I've decided to redact or change the names of everyone here.
8/11/2022
Killer –
Happy birthday, my love!
You are the best person I know & I have loved these last ten years with you. I can’t wait to see what the next decade holds. Being next to you in my favorite place. You are the most marvelous travel buddy, even if we are just going to get tacos.
I hope this fun Indiana Jones bag & new matching thermos & mug make you feel like the badass you are. You are such a star in my eyes & I love you with my whole self. Thank you for letting me be here.
3/2/23
Happy birthday to one of my big brothers from one of my fave other mothers! Love you, friend!!
5/15/25
Happy birthday to one of my all-time favorites!! DW and I watched a documentary about Christian Laettner that featured his perfect game, and I vividly remember watching that very game at your house. When he hit that last shot, I think both our heads almost exploded. Thank you for those memories, and for the vast majority of my pop music education--YOU were the one who introduced me to Bob Dylan, and taught me how to tell the difference between The Animals and Herman's Hermits and Paul Revere and the Raiders. Thank you for being a good man, for you and Nelly loving me like I was one of yours. And thanks for raising my Bonnie to be such an amazing gift in my life. I love you, Grant-o, and am sending you big hugs and a kiss on your head from Ohio!
9/26/18
You all are amazing! Thank you so much for all the birthday love! I’m so happy to be here!
This is forty!
Date unknown
Happy birthday, my precious Cat Boy. I love you so much. I am so proud of you. You are an absolute star and a survivor and also fucking hilarious. Thanks for being so amazing, for never giving up, and for offering love and laughter to a world in profound need of both. Thanks for loving me. You are such a good friend, and I am so lucky to have you. ❤❤😘😘❤❤ hugging your neck til you poot!! ❤❤😘
11/9/05
welcome to the world, darlingest boy. i promise to love you my whole life. i promise to listen to your adventures and misadventures with my full attention. i promise to be your friend and take you to the zoo. i promise to get you hopped up on sugar and then take you home to your mom and dad. i promise to remember you birthday, and always send you something random. i promise to think about you everyday, and be grateful to God that i know you. i promise to burn lots of gas coming to see you, and i promise i will never complain about the long drive. i promise i will never be too tired to tell you a story or sing you a song. i promise i will ask your mom and dad before i take you to the movies or let you try a new food or drive my car. i promise to make you watch the sun come up at least one time in our life together. i promise to take pictures of you covered in bluebonnets. i promise to burp you after i give you a bottle. i promise to tell you stories about your daddy when he was a little boy. i promise to get you out of jams, when i can help, and to give you inside info on crazy family members. i promise to hold you as much as i can without being a baby hog. mostly, i just promise to love you every day more than i love you today, better than i love you today. you are the newest in a long line of people i love. i promise to be generous with my love, to tell you how much i love you every time i see you.
8/22/22
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Love you, brother!!
Thanks!!! Love and miss y’all!
DUDE WERE YOU IN A T MOBILE COMMERCIAL??
I swear to God I just saw you in a t mobile commercial
2/5/05
beauty comes in all shapes and sizes– in strange ways, too. when my grandparents moved to new braunfels this summer, they brought a whole big tupperware box full of pictures, letters, and telegrams. looking at those pictures was beautiful. i saw pictures of when my grandfather was a marine, and had a private room. he had all sorts of pin-up girls in his room, but above his bed, you could see a picture my grandmother had sent him, set apart from all the rest. he still has that picture. seeing the telegram my grandparents sent to tell their families they had finally run off and gotten married was beautiful. it's nice to know that after almost 53 years of being married, they are still such good friends, and have created beauty in their wake– after all i'd be a horrible child if i didn't say that the most beautiful thing they created was my mother. happy birthday, momma.
1/15/21
Hey girl! Happy Birthday!! Thank you for being here – for being my friend – for being a dynamic & spirit-filled woman of integrity & character! You are a & I thank God for putting you in my life. I hope your 23rd year is a year of grace, peace, LOVE , joy, & happiness. You are a treasure & God’s precious, beloved child! Happy Birthday, Old Woman!
7/23/24
Happy third birthday to our beefy boy!!
10/14/17
Happy birthday, my beautiful Mamoo! You are amazing in my life and I am so grateful for all the ways you mother me and love me. Besides his love, you are the best gift David has ever shared with me. You are a joy and a balm to my heart, and a constant source of encouragement and strength. I love and miss you SO STINKING MUCH. Have the best day ever, you sweet thing. Biggest hugs from me and all the critters.
6/2/05
a great big happy birthday to the bon-bon, who turns 26 today. i'm glad we are friends. it's been a long time since miss kate's ballet class, and the time in 2nd grade when i locked you in the bathroom in the basement of the 1st Christian Church. i love you.
1/16/15
Happy birthday, my darling ciabatta! Love you!
1/20/16
Wishing you chicken and dumps and lots of hugs today! Happy birthday, old friend!
8/11/20
My beloved D.W. Jones has a birthday today. His presence and love in the world and in my life are forces for kindness and compassion. He is the best human I know. Building a life with him is such a deep joy and honor.
He always tells the truth. He tolerates the cats. He makes everything—the hardest and most awful things—better. Being by his side for the good and beautiful things makes all of them better, too. My favorite place to be in the whole wide world is next to him. He is my absolute all-time, all possible realities and realnesses, no other is even close, to the moon and back and back again very most favorite five-ever.
Happy birthday, Killer.
I love you so very much.
9/14/17
Happiest birthday to my hetero-lifemate, the savviest chick on the block, my personal bullshit detector, truth teller, talker down from ledges, and bestie for my restie. Love you, Jax. The world is lucky to have you. I am so proud of you, every single day. Gravy
7/4/19
Happy birthday to you, my darling. Thank you for all that you are in my life. You have been here for almost all of it, you sweet young thing. Thank you for showing me what family can be. I love you so very much.
Also, your birth certificate may say you’re 40, but that booty says you’re not a day over 23.
Get. It.
Love you.
3/9/2024
I am so grateful you were born. I’m so grateful you have stayed. I know there have been some very hard-won days. Thank you for staying. Thank you for all the love and beauty you bring to the world just by being here. You are such a light in my life, such a star in my eyes. I hope this next year brings you all the good things, that you are caught and held by the forces of goodness and mercy, that tables of plenty are present to you in the midst of strange company and in the dim twilights between rocks and hard places. May your cup run over, your whole self be well moisturized, and your precious heart unbothered.
I love you to the moon, darling sister of my heart. Happy birthday.
12/25/05
happy birthday, jesus. even though you were probably born sometime in september...
9/26/23
This is 45. I am so happy to be here. 10/10 would recommend. Y’all…my beloved D.W. Jones celebrated me in such style. He is the absolute best.
And you amazing humans blew my phone up all day with your love and good wishes and sweet messages. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am the luckiest girl.
And I would especially like to thank my mother for having me.
I am more than willing to do this at least 45 more times. Yay!! Happy birthday to me!
